i will beat her
“16 For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory;” II Corinthians 4:16-17.
My outward mind and body is dying. It needs to, it has to. It’s just not right. Mental and emotional baggage weighs heavy on my soul (Ecclesiasticus 30:21 [Apocrypha]). My thoughts confuse me and blind me of the sanctity of the commandments (Proverbs 14:12). I was told speaking my mind was power; it’s not (Ecclesiasticus 28:18 [Apocrypha]). I was taught that I needed no man…all lies. (Ecclesiasticus 36:25 [Apocrypha]). I couldn’t see the good in the midst of tribulation because I lost faith and did not believe (John 14:1).
I am beating the old me down. She cannot come back up again. The new me won’t be guided by emotion or simple “gut feelings.” I am not going to be fearful of what man will do to me for straying away from his carnal ways. Uphill battles are not going to stop me from doing what is right.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9.
i will study harder
“The hand of the diligent shall bear rule….” Proverbs 12:24
“Study to shew thyself approved unto God….” 2 Timothy 2:15
This isn’t just some church anymore. No more spoon feeding of the Word (Isaiah 28:9-10). The Most High and Christ want valiantly trained soldiers (and soldierettes J too) in their army (II Timothy 2:3). I too must be prepared to answer questions about my faith with the knowledge, wisdom and understanding of our Lord (Colossians 4:5-6). Having a household to run, children to raise, a 9-5 job to tend to are not excuses for my not studying (II Timothy 2:4). Studying the Word exercises and strengthens my soul (II Peter 1:11).
No more time to wait. No more excuses. No more slothfulness. I am getting up and doing my works.
“Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.” I Corinthians 15:58.
i will act right
“My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” I John 3:18.
I don’t just talk a good game, I walk in one too…that’s right. I have to put into action what I am talking about. If I am saying I love the Lord then I don’t have a problem being corrected. Then I don’t have a problem with a man being my head. I make sure my dress and my spirit is modest. I take care of my sisters. I build up the sisterhood, I don’t tear it down. I support righteous endeavors even when I’m tired or busy. I look for ways to abound. I don’t let pain succumb me. I don’t let my emotions get out of control.
i know her weaknesses, i know her strengths
“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?” II Corinthians 13:5. Who am I? What is good about me? What do I need to make right? What talents have I been blessed with? All good questions with answers in the scriptures (Joshua 1:8). Change begins with the woman in the mirror.
First things first. I need to know me. I need to correct me. I need to love me so I can love others. No more blind leading the blind nonsense. I will be full of vision, hope and faith helping to lead in my capacity those that are without.
“Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:5
i’ve lost to her before, but not this time…she is going down
“For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again: but the wicked shall fall into mischief.” Proverbs 24:16
Ok so I fell. Now get up. Suck it up. Grin and bear it. All pearls of wisdom to live by. We make mistakes. We fall short. But we get up and we learn from it and learn not to repeat – this is repentance. We strive to keep rising up. I may have done something to hurt my sister or maybe she did something to hurt me, but I let it go. I make amends and move on. I put revenge, resentment and anger far from me. I will not lose to ME.
“3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy bother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. 4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4.
i have the advantage, because i know her well. she is the old me!
“19 He sheweth his word unto Jacob, his statutes and his judgments unto Israel. 20 He hath not dealt so with any nation; and as for his judgments they have not known them, Praise ye the Lord.” Psalms 147:19-20
Praise the Lord because I have the advantage…He made a covenant with me. I have been promised eternal life if I do right. The spirit of the Most High dwells in me…I can overcome. Every day the old me dies a little more and the new me gets stronger. I am running, running like the wind. I run straight on that narrow way. I am running towards my king.
“Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain.” I Corinthians 9:24
“Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.” Matthew 7:13-14
“For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.” II Corinthians 4:16