Spiteful, intentional, unintentional, hateful, mean-spirited, grudging, rude, uppity, oblivious, inconsiderate, annoying, abusive, and more are common words applied or placed upon individuals by someone who has become offended by another person’s actions. It is ungodly to guess another person’s intentions or even think that we know them especially if the implication is negative. Instead, asking why a person did something, said something or made a particular gesture would help us all get the true understanding which is what the Most High God’s law instructs us to do. Applying the scriptures make us godly (with a high reverence of God).
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7
Let’s look at a hypothetical scenario. I am a roommate in a women’s home and I am the only person in the house who eats Chobani yogurt and the vanilla flavor is the only flavor that I like. We all pitch in monthly for food and give a list of our favorite foods for the person who does the shopping chore. The person doing the weekly assigned grocery shopping chore buys a case of Lime Chobani yogurt.
- Take the purchase of lime Chobani yogurt as a sign that the grocery shopper is being spiteful and showing disdain towards me?
- Assume the store did not have any more Chobani vanilla and the shopper was too lazy to call and ask if lime flavor would suffice?
- Ask the shopper why she bought a case of lime Chobani opposed to the vanilla?
Going back to the hypothetical scenario, answer “C” (Ask the shopper why she bought a case of lime Chobani opposed to the vanilla) would be the most law applicable answer because no judgment would be made based on the appearance, but instead, understanding would be received. What if the understanding you were given from the shopper in regards to the purchase is, the store did not have vanilla and the next store is too far for her gas budget and her cell phone battery died so she could not give you a call; furthermore, she is making 7 key-lime pies and likes to add yogurt to it; Chobani-Lime was on sale. With such a response, wouldn’t it be fair to say that an evil suspicion which may have been assumed at the appearance of the lime Chobani yogurt would be quenched as a result of getting understanding? I’d like to think yes.
A question should be posed in order to get further understanding on a particular matter, especially if the appearance of things will make you condemn, accuse, wrongfully judge, or formulate an adverse opinion of someone.“Admonish a friend, it may be he hath not done it: and if he have done it, that he do it no more. Admonish thy friend, it may be he hath not said it: and if he have, that he speak it not again. Admonish a friend: for many times it is a slander, and believe not every tale.” Ecclesiasticus 19:13-15
The question to be asked is not always “why”. What if an action of someone gave an appearance of something unlawful? The question would not be, why did you do that, but maybe, Do you k now what you are doing is unlawful? Here is another scenario:
You see a married sister in her car with a man you whom you have never seen before, then you see the same man and her again at the mall together, then yet again at the grocery store. Do you:
- Subliminally warn her that she isn’t living right.
- Let her know that you saw her with this man and ask what her relation to him is and remind her of the Most High’s law regarding male female relations.
- Go tell everyone what you have been seeing so they may solve it.
The correct answer is in the scriptures:
“I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me. If I bear witness of myself, my witness is not true.” John 5:30, 31
We should never just assume anything but make appropriate inquiry.
“Blame not before thou hast examined the truth: understand first, and then rebuke.” Ecclesiasticus 11:7
There are ample examples, even biblical ones (i.e. Rachel & Leah; Mary & Martha) in which a sister has jumped to a conclusion and judged another sister’s intention or actions before getting understanding. The biblical examples show us how to get proper understanding instead of leaning upon our own opinions.
Why should we spend any time researching out why someone has made any decision they have made when it is easier to say, I’m not going to trouble myself with it, and then move on? Well, what if the person repeats the behavior again, which triggers another suspicious thought in your head, especially because the correct understanding was never found out from the beginning. Or, what if you don’t actually let it go and begin to subconsciously harbor a grudge which makes you mistreat that sister. And let’s not forget Satan loves chaos, disorder, misunderstandings, variance, discord, and all the fruits of the flesh. (Galatians 5:17, 19); it helps him destroy souls.
“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” 1Peter 5:8
To answer the question, Why Ask Why, it is to save your own soul from the possible second death or even save the next sister’s soul from the second death. This is not to say get into everyone’s business but when applicable before judging, Get understanding.