Marriageable Age

We live in a society (or rather a world) that teaches one can marry at a variety of ages. Some say when a girl starts her cycle. Others say ten years old with the parents permission. Some say twelve, sixteen, eighteen. You get the gist. Some even make laws making it legal to do in various states and countries. In essence, depending on where you go in the world you can get a different answer. But has anyone asked (or even care) what does God say?

Tobit 1:9 KJVA

Furthermore, when I was come to the age of a man, I married Anna of mine own kindred, and of her I begat Tobias.

Hold the phone. Tobit gives us some insight when he lets us know that he not only married his wife and they had a son, but rather that he married her when he reached the age of a man. We don’t want to just gloss right over that. This insight shows us that there is a line to be drawn concerning a marriageable age. It isn’t a grey area where one has a wide spectrum of ages to choose from. Nor is it something I determine based on what I believe the individual is ready for. We also know from reading the chapter (if you take the time to read it) that Tobit is a righteous man. And grew up from a child keeping the Most High’s laws.

Tobit 1:3 KJVA

I Tobit have walked all the days of my life in the ways of truth and justice, and I did many almsdeeds to my brethren, and my nation, who came with me to Nineve, into the land of the Assyrians.

This is important as it sets the stage for what type of person we are dealing with. And all praises we have Tobit, who in all facets of life was trying to execute righteousness…Marriage included.

Genesis 38:11 KJVS

[11] Then said Judah to Tamar his daughter in law, Remain a widow at thy father's house, till Shelah my son be grown: for he said, Lest peradventure he die also, as his brethren did. And Tamar went and dwelt in her father's house.

Genesis 38:14 KJVS

[14] And she put her widow's garments off from her, and covered her with a vail, and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place, which is by the way to Timnath; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given unto him to wife.

You can read the whole chapter concerning one case of the law as it pertains to the “duty of a brother”. However, for the sake of this article, we will focus on Judah informing Tamar to return to her fathers house as she is a widow. And it was supposed to be until Judah’s remaining son “Shelah was grown”. Another way of letting us know that Shelah was still a youth, or child, and had not yet reached the age of maturity to be righteously able to marry. And based on the information at hand I highly doubt it was a year or less away. And the context shows that there was an age gap between Judah’s youngest son at the time and his two older sons that had passed. However, we do not know how large. But what we do know was that Onan was of marriageable age while Shiloh was still a child. Who was more than likely in his late teens.

1 Corinthians 7:35-36 KJVS

[35] And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. [36] But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

Some may take “the flower of her age” as when a girl begins to menstruate. And believe that this reads that when a girl begins to menstruate she may marry. This is not sound doctrine. This is another way to simply say when a girl reaches the age of maturity and is now a woman you may choose to have her marry. It is not a sin. But if she does not have strong desires for marriage and can overcome any sexual urges it is good if she doesn’t marry so she can focus on the works of the ministry and pleasing the Most High. How can we verify this? Well, let’s get another precept.

Sirach 26:19–20 KJVA

19 My son, keep the flower of thine age sound; and give not thy strength to strangers. 20 When thou hast gotten a fruitful possession through all the field, sow it with thine own seed, trusting in the goodness of thy stock.

Here, we see the same similitude used. But this time we see it is referencing a male instead of a female. If the flower of one’s age was referring to a menstrual cycle it would not be possible for it to be referring to a male in the same light. And reading the passage it is concerning marriage. And not only marriage, but how to ensure you stay righteous in choosing a virtuous woman and not a harlot. So what age do we find in the scriptures that we can justly draw the line at and that our forefathers went by?

Numbers 1:3,18 KJVS

[3] From twenty years old and upward, all that are able to go forth to war in Israel: thou and Aaron shall number them by their armies. [18] And they assembled all the congregation together on the first day of the second month, and they declared their pedigrees after their families, by the house of their fathers, according to the number of the names, from twenty years old and upward, by their polls.

Now, many will argue with this understanding. However, I encourage you to take the time and try to do a thorough search of the ages: eighteen, nineteen, twenty and one and twenty years of age (or twenty one). Note your results of each as it pertains to age. And you will find that no other number yields good results especially in context to physical age and maturity; save twenty. Twenty is the age of adulthood and maturity to be able to do things such as go to war and marry. Even look at the numbers themselves. The transition from nineTEEN to TWENTY. You are finally out of your teenage years and the end of your childhood. Now you are a young adult righteously able to move and make decisions as an adult. As well as be accountable as one.

1 Corinthians 13:11 KJVS

[11] When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.