Upbraiding: The Spirit of Blame and Criticism
How many of you have ever been corrected? I’m sure everyone can attest to a time they have been corrected by another. Now, can you recall a time when you were criticized? What are some of the key differences, if you can tell? It would not be uncommon if you may initially feel that they are one and the same. But if they were, there would be no need to have sayings such as “constructive criticism.” They differ just as salt is differentiated from sugar. And although they appear similar, they taste different. This is why it is important to understand what upbraiding means. And how it defers from simply correcting or reproving someone. Let’s examine “upbraid” using the Strong’s Concordance of the Bible.
Strong's Number
H2778
Original Word
חרף
Transliterated Word
châraph
Phonetic Spelling
khaw-raf'
Parts of Speech
Verb
Strong's Definition
A primitive root; to pull {off} that {is} (by implication) to expose (as by stripping); specifically to betroth (as if a surrender); figuratively to carp {at} that {is} defame; denominatively (from H2779) to spend the winter: - {betroth} {blaspheme} {defy} {jeopard} {rail} {reproach} upbraid.
Brown-Driver-Briggs' Definition
to reproach, taunt, blaspheme, defy, jeopardise, rail, upbraid
(Qal) to reproach
(Piel) to reproach, defy, taunt
(Qal) to winter, spend harvest time, remain in harvest time
(Niphal) to acquire, be betrothed
Strong's Number
G3679
Original Word
ὀνειδέζω
Transliterated Word
oneidezō
Phonetic Spelling
on-i-did'-zo
Parts of Speech
Verb
Strong's Definition
From G3681; to defame that is rail at chide taunt: - cast in teeth (suffer) reproach revile upbraid.
Thayer's Definition
to reproach, upbraid, revile
of deserved reproach
of undeserved reproach, to revile
to upbraid, cast (favours received) in one's teeth
When one upbraids you. They are generally reproaching you. They are trying to find fault in you, blame you or discredit you. Need this be done severely or frequently.
James 1:4-7 KJVS
[4] But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. [5] If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. [6] But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. [7] For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.
The Most High and Christ are not in a spirit where they are looking for your downfall or a reason to severely find fault in you, blame you or discredit you for something you have said or done.
Mark 16:9-15 KJVS
[9] Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils. [10] And she went and told them that had been with him, as they mourned and wept. [11] And they, when they had heard that he was alive, and had been seen of her, believed not. [12] After that he appeared in another form unto two of them, as they walked, and went into the country. [13] And they went and told it unto the residue: neither believed they them. [14] Afterward he appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and upbraided them with their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen. [15] And he said unto them, Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.
This is a reasonable situation where Christ upbraided his disciples. Take note of the process as to how he arrives at his decision. First, Mary was sent, who had a proven record of repentance through Christ. Secondly, there were two more disciples that were with them that had been given the same message and witnessed the same act as Mary and told it unto the apostles. This was done that the scripture might be applied in regards to “in the mouth of two or three witnesses.” Now, it was after all that is done and for all this, they believed not. Now, Christ in wisdom can execute the upbraiding or criticizing of the apostles for their unbelief. To take this course of action was not the initial intention of Christ. He gave them space and opportunity along with multiple chances to accept that the words they were speaking were true.
Matthew 11:20-22 KJVS
[20] Then began he to upbraid the cities wherein most of his mighty works were done, because they repented not: [21] Woe unto thee, Chorazin! woe unto thee, Bethsaida! for if the mighty works, which were done in you, had been done in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. [22] But I say unto you, It shall be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon at the day of judgment, than for you.
This is a typical application of upbraiding. Christ taught and spoke to many people of many cities. Not only to do many wonderful works and miracles among them. But rather to convey to them that they need to repent and change their ways. Yet, for all of his works, miracles, and teachings no one was making any reasonable effort to truly believe and repent. So now it puts one in a place to speak against them righteously. And that although in sin, and a primary region of the heathen. If he had done the same mighty works among them, more of them would have changed, humbled themselves and desired to be joined unto the Most High God. This saying is no different than the mixed multitude that came up out of Egypt with us. Some of the heathen wanted to get it right and serve the true creator after seeing his mighty works.
Sirach 18:18
A fool will upbraid churlishly, and a gift of the envious consumeth the eyes.
Only a foolish individual will upbraid one in a rude or mean way. And be difficult to reason with regarding how critical they should be or are being. And there are a few reasons why. Remember that repentance is the key thing we should always want to keep at the forefront in our intentions. We shouldn’t desire to find an occasion to rail on them because they finally messed up or did something wrong. Or to try to cause them to feel how I feel or think they should feel. Give them the words they need so they may be edified and can do better. Consider this, that even after David committed one of the most wicked singular acts you can think of; adultery, in addition to murder, the Most High nor Nathan the prophet upbraided him about it. The focus was revealing unto him what he did wrong and why it was wrong and the consequences of his actions in a way that he would understand. And as a just man, he beat himself up enough over his own short comings. Let that sink in…How many times are you going to remind someone and chastise them that they are young, that they need to lose weight, that they are late etc. And have your words truly helped the situation? Or are they stagnating growth or causing one to recede and go backwards? If you read Hebrews chapter ten, you will find that God wants us to forget our sins not constantly be reminded of them.
Sirach 41:22-24
22 Or to be overbusy with his maid, and come not near her bed; or of upbraiding speeches before friends; and after thou hast given, upbraid not;
23 Or of iterating and speaking again that which thou hast heard; and of revealing of secrets.
24 So shalt thou be truly shamefaced and find favour before all men.
Unfortunately, the closer someone is in relation to you the more often and severely they can upbraid you. The wisdom in Sirach chapter 41 is guiding you on how to have favor with people, especially those closest to you. And how to practice a level of shamefacedness (or reservation) regarding your words and actions toward them. Yes, you want your friends to correct you if you are in error. But no one wants to be criticized all the time for what they say or do. And after you talked to them about it and criticized them. Leave them alone…drop it. Don’t continue to poke the bear. No one wants to be around someone that is going to remind them about how much they failed or fell short. Otherwise, it will lead to an environment where now they are looking for you to fall short so they can do the same to you. And will be that much more harsh with you when the shoe is on the other foot. You may think your telling them what they need to hear, but you may not be aware of what others may have already told them, in conjunction of what they may have already told themselves.
Sirach 4:3
Add not more trouble to an heart that is vexed; and defer not to give to him that is in need.
There is a reason why they say “the straw that broke the camels back.” And “don’t push me cause I’m close to the edge, I’m trying not to lose my head.” Sometimes people are already at their limit. And your words may just be the final straw or push to take them over the deep end. And once they are there, there reaction can make you wonder; where is this energy and spirit coming from? And what may appear in the moment as an overreaction is the outward manifestation of the anger, sorrow, and pain inside. That you released with adding your last two cents into the piggy bank and now it burst asunder. Sometimes what is already known and understood does not need to be said.
Sirach 22:22
If thou hast opened thy mouth against thy friend, fear not; for there may be a reconciliation: except for upbraiding, or pride, or disclosing of secrets, or a treacherous wound: for these things every friend will depart.
Sirach chapter 22 is going in on different things that can cause one to lose friends. Upbraiding is one of them. No one wants to be around someone that is heavily critical on what someone else may be saying or doing. And it is what you say and how you say it that means a worlds difference. One must understand that just because one hasn’t “repented” of something or made the adjustments you desire for them and in some cases they “rightousely” should or even in “wisdom” should make; does not mean that they are not aware of the problem. Remember, knowing is one third of the problem the second part is understanding, the third and last part is the application of what you know and understand. And if I were to add a fourth, even a fourth, it would be to maintain and continue in well doing in all of those things you have now learned. Maybe next time instead of criticizing or saying a smart remark, look at what you can do or say to help the person. And it doesn’t hurt to actually take the time to converse with them or ask what is going on and how you can help before you critique.
Colossians 4:6 KJVS
[6] Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
