Adultery: It’s a Process

Warning, this article contains graphic descriptions some readers may not find suitable for their children. We all know “Thou shalt not commit adultery”. Yet how many understand why it is such a pivotal sin? And how does one even get to that state? It’s not like you just stumble into adultery. Yet, so many fall into it. No pun intended.

There are really what I can sum up as two parts to adultery; the build up and the aftermath. We want to focus on the buildup. Here is an example on how as a woman the doors to adultery may open.

1 Samuel 18:20 KJVS

[20] And Michal Saul's daughter loved David: and they told Saul, and the thing pleased him.

Here we have very young Michal, she loved David. And for many In relationships there is a time when you sincerely or deeply loved the person you are with.

1 Samuel 19:11-14 KJVS

[11] Saul also sent messengers unto David's house, to watch him, and to slay him in the morning: and Michal David's wife told him, saying, If thou save not thy life to night, to morrow thou shalt be slain. [12] So Michal let David down through a window: and he went, and fled, and escaped. [13] And Michal took an image, and laid it in the bed, and put a pillow of goats' hair for his bolster, and covered it with a cloth. [14] And when Saul sent messengers to take David, she said, He is sick.

Michal was even righteous. She knew her father was trying to kill David and she pulled the O.G. move we now see used so commonly on television. I will help him escape just in case and will put a fake version of him in the bed and even make it seem like he is sick. That’s righteous love. She knew her father was on some wickedness. You can be in a place where yes, you would fight tooth and nail, even your own family to protect your spouse. However, things change.

2 Samuel 6:18-20 KJVS

[18] And as soon as David had made an end of offering burnt offerings and peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts. [19] And he dealt among all the people, even among the whole multitude of Israel, as well to the women as men, to every one a cake of bread, and a good piece of flesh, and a flagon of wine. So all the people departed every one to his house. [20] Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!

The scriptures let it be known that David was celebrating and he was dealing with all the people both the men and the women. However, all Michal was focused on was, “look at him he trying to get another wife.” And now she allowed Satan to fill her with jealousy. To where she feels the need to address him and speak her mind. And they got into an argument that could have been avoided had she checked her emotions and was not being biased. Yet, this is when some women after conversations like this begin to fume with evil and plot to commit adultery. The spirit becomes like a gas. The more you feed it; the longer it is on, the more the room fills with gas. It becomes more volatile filling more space in one’s home and even one’s temple just waiting for a spark to ignite it. And the destruction of that house will be great. Those fumes are being spread by Satan. But you have the power to turn off the gas.

That now Satan tells you. “He does not appreciate you.” “He doesn’t love you.” “Don’t he got enough wives? He is not considering how this makes you feel.” “He is too busy for you.” “Someone else will appreciate you.” “He ain’t even taking them on right, God don’t like that. He probably fornicating.” Now you are being provoked even further. For that spirit and those thoughts feed off of each other. That then you begin to agree with them and get “confirmations in the spirit” not realizing Satan can confirm things as well because Satan is also a spirit. And you begin to open the doors to talk to someone else; a coworker, an old friend, maybe even an ex. All while wickedly justifying your actions and feelings that Satan capitalized on. While simultaneously leading you further away from the Most High.

Sirach 9:9 KJVA

Sit not at all with another man’s wife, nor sit down with her in thine arms, and spend not thy money with her at the wine; lest thine heart incline unto her, and so through thy desire thou fall into destruction.

And to turn away thy face from thy kinsman; or to take away a portion or a gift; or to gaze upon another man’s wife. Or to be overbusy with his maid, and come not near her bed; or of upbraiding speeches before friends; and after thou hast given, upbraid not;

(Sirach 41:21–22 KJVA)

These scriptures give the domino effect on how adultery happens. You open the door. Even as a man by creating more time to spend with another man’s wife that is not business related. Or as mentioned above some argument or bad feelings creep in, that now you are putting yourself in a place to talk to this person more as a woman. Hence “overbusy” and things become more personal and more time that is not genuinely good. And intentions begin to change. You grow closer that now you begin to share more and more intimate details of each others lives. And you can begin to be the shoulder to lean on when times get hard in a way that is not edifying. And it becomes a situation that when I was angry with my husband you were there, when I was hurt based on what my husband said you were there. Now this isn’t the same as I have a friend of the family who we have known each other for years and I may call and ask for genuine counsel. Because this person is a father or mother figure, or a big brother or big sister. I as a man can love a brother deeply and we can be very close and not take it any further or be engaged in a sexual manner. Likewise, I can be close to a sister who is married and not engage in a sexual manner. However, there are limits and it should be subject to a genuine brother or sister relationship. Don’t cross any lines. And many people have that. This is an uncle or aunte figure, brother or sister figure. Yet, you also have how people abuse these things as well. And use these titles, deceptively to create a bubble of safety that no one would suspect because oh, he’s like a father or brother to me, therefore, I could never be involved with him in that way. All to find out that woman got pregnant by her husbands brother. Or a woman got pregnant by her husbands son. These cases are common place if you Google them. And can go on for years. Man gets his wife’s mother pregnant etc. Look at Amnon and Tamar they were biological siblings and Amnon raped her.

It is when lines get crossed that now you “sit down with her in thine arms.” Feelings grow, especially if you are now going out to eat alone need it be getting wine together or simply grabbing lunch to catch up. You are building a very close friendship that is filled with traces of romance. Now you begin to “gaze” upon each other with “new eyes” a romanticized look. And feelings pour in. And Satan begins to play mind games and whenever you feel some type of way toward the person you are with, you think of this other person as more than a friend. And begin to say they understand you, they get you. And you begin to want to spend more time with this person. And it becomes more inappropriate. “Your heart begins to incline unto her” and through desire you find yourself alone more often fooling yourselves to think it will all be okay, nothing happened last time. And you come closer and closer “near her bed.” Not knowing you are inching closer and closer to a cliff toward your deaths that if the faintest wind were to blow. You two would “fall  into destruction.” Remember, Satans job is to get you to sin by any means necessary. And to make sin look easily achievable; to make it look fun and something to be desired.

Never underestimate what proximity, time and feelings can do. Else, we just deceive ourselves. And you must gauge where you sincerely are. You know in your own heart if you see this person as more than a brother or a sister figure. And if you may be provoked to homosexuality or adultery or even pedophilia. And you must remove yourself from that situation. And you must begin to read the room if the other party is moving in that way. Correct the behaviors of the other party and remove yourself from the situation.