Marital “Status”

Many may wonder if there is a “need” to put a status update now that I am married or even courting someone. It’s my business and my personal life after all right? Wrong. This is nation building…No one should have to play “Find Waldo” concerning your martial status especially if you are a woman. If you are in a committed relationship with someone need it be marriage, betrothal, or courting it should not be taken lightly nor kept in secret. And if betrothed or married then a “status update” would be something to carry out sooner rather than later.

1 Corinthians 14:40 KJVS

[40] Let all things be done decently and in order.

Even on a lower level, if you take the step to court someone you should let it be known that you are courting and WHO you are courting. Why? Because you are no longer in the realm of just being cordial or friendly. You have mutually transitioned to a mindset and spirit of wanting to be more than just friends. And that territory must be acknowledged openly. You are in a righteous dating environment (or at least you’re supposed to be) as a woman you are saying I am righteously seeking this man out for the opportunity and possibility of marriage. And this man is agreeing to the same. It holds you both accountable to take the process seriously with this person. It will limit others from talking to you “romantically” as not to interfere with the process. If you don’t get married that is okay. And this is one reason why many may be reluctant. “Well, what if it doesn’t workout? I don’t want to look like I attempted all these failed relationships.” Remember, people go on dates often in the world. And even some of you once did. Did it always work out? No, many times it didn’t. And that comes with the territory. At least you took the time to sincerely get to know each other to see if you are suitable and compatible for marriage. And you let it be known as such. Being an example unto others. And showing them how to move. Furthermore, it is for accountability purposes, as a woman you don’t want to put yourself in a place where you are courting two or more men at once. Why? Because you can only righteously marry one man! And maintain one husband at any given time. And it would seem as if you do not take the courting process seriously if entertaining multiple men and you are no longer being as shamefaced as the scriptures mention. Failure to adhere to this would open the doors for some women to flirt with more men at once and what would happen if she has already been enticed or seduced and lain with one? Yet it was hid. No one knew she was romantically talking to this person. So more than likely no one knew she was talking to two or three men at once. It is easy for fornication or adultery to then take place. As deceit was at the foundation. I said I was courting but never said who, therefore I was courting two. And the possibility that more than two souls could be lost. Simply by operating in the shadows. And yes it happens and I have born witness to the firsthand accounts. Now three people are removed because they kept their courtship and even consummation in secret. The men were unaware, yet the sister involved knew.

Not everyone has good intentions. Man or women. Men may desire to keep things in the dark because they don’t want to reveal you are a potential second wife that the first wife disapproves of and so they want to build and consummate in secret. And that spirit of being sneaky or deceitful grows within you. It was cool when you two were talking and making moves but when it reaches a limit where YOU believe it has gone too far now it is wrong. When the initial process of how it was being executed was wrong all along. You just didn’t mind personally because it suited your interest at the time. It seemed good to you at the time but was really evil. And the true good thing was avoided. Besides, it isn’t like the scriptures state, “Thou shalt surely proclaim they marriage or courtship when it is known of thee.” Therefore, I have done no wrong. And remember, even if something is not explicitly stated that does not mean that the spirit of the scriptures validate it. You may find supporting and indirect scriptures that lets you know this is a righteous way to do things or a wise way to do them or the opposite.

James 4:17 KJVS

[17] Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

If you play in the dark you are more likely to get wounded in the dark. If you play in the light you will more than likely see what is coming. And a “status update” is something that reveals what is being done and brings it to the light. The longer it stays in the dark the more it will be subject to the creatures that lurk in it. And they won’t deal kindly. Many don’t consider the mindset and spirit that comes along when we decide to execute certain decisions. And now we can be going left. And no longer on the right path the way we should be. And if we continue going left we only swerve further out of the right way. And you end up in positions you shouldn’t be in. No pun intended.  As with a little bit of leaven, so is this case.

Now concerning a married man or woman who has consummated their marriage it is even worse. First, it is for mutual accountability purposes before God and man. Secondly, it is an honor you should be proud of as you chose to commit to this person. Thirdly, It helps others know to not engage with you as if you are single and possibly looking to court for marriage. And as a man it lets it be known that this would be a polygynous situation. True, there are some men who may talk to a married woman anyway but this helps as a filter. Furthermore, there are women who choose to entertain these men as well. And some knowingly end up putting themselves in positions to commit adultery. And this is why you must always do your research and know who you are talking to.

Proverbs 6:24-26 KJVS

[24] To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. [25] Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. [26] For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.

There are no “sneaky links” righteously in Israel. You do not want to set yourself or anyone else up for failure through ignorance and risk destroying families and losing salvation.

Deuteronomy 22:22 KJVS

[22] If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.

Remember, it is also your job to prove this person. And part of that proving is to know if this person is sexually engaged with someone else. You do not want to gamble with your salvation or gamble with grace or mercy. As you may or may not receive it.