Polygyny: Common Concerns, Statements & Questions
Many of us hear many concerns, statements and questions concerning polygyny. The purpose of this article is to shine light on these concerns from a spiritual perspective not just an opinionated one.
Matthew 9:4 KJVS
[4] And Jesus knowing their thoughts said, Wherefore think ye evil in your hearts?
Luke 11:53-54 KJVS
[53] And as he said these things unto them, the scribes and the Pharisees began to urge him vehemently, and to provoke him to speak of many things: [54] Laying wait for him, and seeking to catch something out of his mouth, that they might accuse him.
The first thing to understand is that many of these claims come from women (and even some men) that are already against polygyny and use questions and claims similar to the Pharisees to push their doctrines (their beliefs and ideologies) and wisely speak against the scriptures. As many will not say it is unlawful or I am against it. But rather say things like “you can’t afford it” or “it just wouldn’t be good for us.” As many of these claims are made to negatively speak against polygyny. And many don’t really have sincere questions or answers in love. But rather in spite or insecurity. So let us answer according to love.
Just get a maid
When a woman wants a provider or protector you don’t say, “Go hire a security guard.” You don’t even say, “Maybe you need to go live with yo daddy.” You understand that she may seek a husband for that need and that is acceptable.
When a woman wants a child you don’t say, “just work at a daycare center that’s an option.” Or even, “maybe you should just adopt.” Or better yet, “just watch mine.”
Yet, when a man wants another wife, even if his current wife agrees or not you will say, “Just get a maid.” This is fallacious and hypocritical reasoning.
1 Samuel 25:40-42 KJVS
[40] And when the servants of David were come to Abigail to Carmel, they spake unto her, saying, David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife. [41] And she arose, and bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, Behold, let thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord. [42] And Abigail hasted, and arose, and rode upon an ass, with five damsels of hers that went after her; and she went after the messengers of David, and became his wife.
Abigail is a prime example of what the goal for our women to become is and what you read in Isaiah 4:1. Women who understand their role and the role of a man. And value a righteous man. Abigail had money, land, and servants, yet when presented with the opportunity to marry a righteous man she decided to marry the righteous man and serve him and those under his authority! All before this man was a king! Just when he was an officer in the military.
It’s cheaper to get a maid
Women that say, “it’s cheaper to get a maid” have not taken the time to research how much it would truly cost to pay someone to do the tasks a stay at home wife or rather a stay at home mom would really do and what her true value is.
“If a stay-at-home mom was ever handed a pink slip, dad would have to hire a nanny, a driver, a cook, a janitor, a psychologist, a laundry-machine operator, and a myriad of other professionals for the odd jobs moms do on a daily basis.
A Salary.com calculation found that after all the various duties are added up, stay-at-home moms put in 94.7 hours in a typical workweek, and it would cost $112,962 a year to replace her. For working moms, the extra 57.9 hours a week of work they put in is worth $66,979.”
That is before inflation! This is why the scriptures say:
Proverbs 31:10 KJVS
[10] Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
A good woman operating in her position righteously is worth more than precious stones such as pearls, rubies or sapphire, and she is even more beautiful. So what one ought to say is, “You can’t afford a maid” or rather “You can’t afford to replace a virtuous woman” especially with just any woman or a maid! For her tasks and responsibilities cover many jobs or positions.
You can’t afford another wife.
Firstly, more than likely if you are saying this you are a married woman. And if your husband can afford you it would not be a big stretch to be able to provide for two of you.
Secondly, a major factor is that a wife is not an additional child. She is not simply filled with ongoing expenses for the next 20 years with little return on your investment. It’s as if people that think this way don’t consider that she has the ability to work; need it be full time or part time based on the needs of the family.
Thirdly, as we repent and come back into the knowledge of who we are the women will be in a mindset and spirit that they are not as concerned with “can he pay my bills” but rather “is he a good man”. And they will realize a good man is more valuable than just having money or if he can pay for all of my expenses. Just as Abigail above.
Isaiah 4:1 KJVS
[1] And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.
So the financial factor will not be an issue for the generation of women that are slowly but surely waking up and will only grow with time. The other ideologies will be phased out and converted or those individuals will fall away. You just have to decide which side of the fence you will fall on. This prophecy is slowly coming to pass now and would not be relevant in the kingdom as affordability of things such as food and clothing won’t be a factor.
That’s how diseases spread
This is a carnal concern and not a spiritual concern. You can get diseases sleeping with one person. Even if a woman doesn’t take care of herself in certain ways she can get a yeast infection. And before one says, “well how much the more with more people” remember, polygyny is not a new practice or phenomenon. It was widely practiced by not only our people but the other nations as well.
Judges 8:30 KJVS
[30] And Gideon had threescore and ten sons of his body begotten: for he had many wives.
You don’t read about a whole lot of diseases, although, we as a people; as men had many wives. And women were in polygynous relationships. Why is that?
Hebrews 13:4 KJVS
[4] Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Because you are still operating in righteousness. Those diseases are usually judgements and are in place because people are fornicating. Men and women just randomly sleeping around with each other. And many involved in homosexual and bisexual relationships as well.
Well I don’t want you sleeping with her and then bringing whatever she got and sleeping with me
Again, we have laws concerning sanitizing. Speaking frankly, most Israelite men especially righteous ones are not going to simply have sex from one woman to the next and not shower; hell or even wash up. Most men after ejaculation want to shower. Condom or not he is sticky and nasty and he knows it. If this is being seriously called into question in your relationship I would seriously consider the sanitary practices of both of you because being unclean and negligent in this regard is not the norm or standard.
Leviticus 15:16-18 KJVS
[16] And if any man's seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even. [17] And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even. [18] The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.
If this is being followed you will avoid many of the diseases or issues you may be concerned with. Now, while mentioning disease. You should get tested beforehand to know if any of you have any sexually transmitted disease. And I encourage all of you to get tested as adultery could be lurking for anyone involved and best to be clean all around so no one becomes suspicious of the other in the event something happens.
It’s not good for my health or our family
Of a truth you speak.
Sirach 26:6
But a grief of heart and sorrow is a woman that is jealous over another woman, and a scourge of the tongue which communicateth with all.
The negative health is usually a direct result of what the Most High defines as jealousy. And most of the grief is what the man has to go through dealing with his wife in that state. Now for those that argue the opposite I say fast and pray and purge out whatever spirit is disrupting your peace. Believe you and me or rather the scriptures when I say after a seven day fast that won’t be an issue. If you are sincerely seeking the Most High to help you.
Matthew 17:20-21 KJVS
[20] And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. [21] Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.
Many of us have spirits from the world we have yet to purge. That still dwell in us. And it is up to you to purge them out. Else they will continue to dwell there. And one day may take you out.
Ephesians 4:22-24 KJVS
[22] That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; [23] And be renewed in the spirit of your mind; [24] And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.
Fight to fast and renew your mind and spirit so that you may see clearly.
You don’t love your wife.
This is fallacious reasoning.
1 John 5:3 KJVS
[3] For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
If your husband or the man involved is operating righteously, it is not his love toward his wife that should be called into question. But rather the love of his wife toward him. For he is operating out of righteous love. Not emotional love or opinionated love. God never said, “if thou takest another wife surely thou hatest the wife of thy youth.”
Isn’t one woman enough?
This too is fallacious reasoning.
1 Corinthians 7:7 KJVS
[7] For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
All men want is sex it’s just lust
Ironically, in my years being in this walk and I have been in it since September 2011. Women commit adultery more than men. This is both true in a monogamous and polygynous relationship. Sex is usually what the women are focused on. Which is why they also bring it up. Even amongst circles of men (at least righteous ones) it is rarely, if ever, that sex is brought up as the main reason. Women bring it up because many have insecurities about their husband being romantically involved with another woman. And then manipulate the situation to make it appear that’s all men want or another woman is good for like sex would be going on 24/7.
Furthermore, to have a sexual desire toward a woman in and of itself is not a sin. See article “Looketh on a Woman Committeth Adultery”
Deuteronomy 21:10-13 KJVS
[10] When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, [11] And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife; [12] Then thou shalt bring her home to thine house; and she shall shave her head, and pare her nails; [13] And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother a full month: and after that thou shalt go in unto her, and be her husband, and she shall be thy wife.
This was the process in how a man at that time could righteously marry a woman of another nation. However, men were not executing it this way so it turned into wickedness. (Nehemiah 13:23-26) Notice the Most High was very clear on how it was to be done but also what the cause was. IF he sees a beautiful woman that he wants to wife that is okay. As long as he executes it in these steps. How much more an Israelite woman? The key is execution.
Furthermore, a marriage built around sex will not be very successful or healthy. And any man or woman that is righteously building will eventually figure that out.
When you read about polygyny they always had issues
This is fallacious as well. Issues are common in a marriage, period. Many of our forefathers had issues not only with their marriages but with their children. Yet, you don’t say, “we shouldn’t have kids many of the people that had them had wicked ones.” Look at our forefathers and almost every single righteous person you can think of that had kids had at least one wicked kid. Adam had Cain, Abraham had Ishmael, Isaac had Esau, Jacob had Reuben, David had a few, Eli had a couple, Samuel had a couple etc. the list goes on. Yet, many of these men had righteous kids as well.
1 Corinthians 7:28 KJVS
[28] But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
Marriage comes with problems. Marriage is a relationship, it takes work to establish and maintain. It is only natural if a man has more wives that there would be more to maintain no different than if a man and woman have more children. Why would you think differently. The Bible is not meant to set you up for failure. If the relationship dynamic would generally be that toxic. God would not have made it lawful. He would have said, “Surely it is a wicked thing for a man to take on more than one wife. All that do so are an abomination.” But we don’t read anything like that because that’s not the reality. It is what you make it.
Proverbs 3:13 KJVS
[13] Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
