Polygyny: Lawful or Unlawful?
Polygyny is a growing term, practice, and talking point we are hearing more of and is becoming one of debate amongst conversational circles and social media platforms as well. Yet, not many understand it as well as they should. So let’s gain a thorough understanding of the matter and see if it is a biblically lawful or unlawful practice.
Rather than using many scriptures to simply say why polygyny is lawful. I will use many scriptures that people use to say polygyny is unlawful and give the understanding of what they mean and what is being conveyed.
Genesis 26:34-35 KJVS
[34] And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: [35] Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.
Some bring up this account of Esau and say that the wickedness of polygyny came from him. And that it was his multiple wives that was an issue for his parents that deemed it unlawful. When this is not true. Isaac and Rebekah did not like the fact that Esau took wives of the daughters of Canaan, which we as Hebrews ensured not to do due to the level of wickedness they were involved in. Furthermore, Abraham had multiple wives and he was beloved of God.
Genesis 10:15 KJVS
[15] And Canaan begat Sidon his firstborn, and Heth,
“Heth” is the progenitor of the Hittites and the progeny of Canaan. And therefore considered a Canaanite in some passages such as this as well.
Genesis 24:2-3 KJVS
[2] And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: [3] And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:
This understanding did not start at what Isaac was telling his sons. It went even back to what Abraham was telling his sons. And for those that have wisdom even what God was telling Adam.
Another example used to make it seem unlawful is that people read examples such as this to say, “Multiple wives has problems, just look at the examples used in the scriptures.”
Genesis 30:13-17 KJVS
[13] And Leah said, Happy am I, for the daughters will call me blessed: and she called his name Asher. [14] And Reuben went in the days of wheat harvest, and found mandrakes in the field, and brought them unto his mother Leah. Then Rachel said to Leah, Give me, I pray thee, of thy son's mandrakes. [15] And she said unto her, Is it a small matter that thou hast taken my husband? and wouldest thou take away my son's mandrakes also? And Rachel said, Therefore he shall lie with thee to night for thy son's mandrakes. [16] And Jacob came out of the field in the evening, and Leah went out to meet him, and said, Thou must come in unto me; for surely I have hired thee with my son's mandrakes. And he lay with her that night. [17] And God hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived, and bare Jacob the fifth son.
The arguments you read about concerning multiple wives in the scriptures was centered around being fruitful and multiplying, building the nation, and pleasing their husband. It was not as self centered as it is today. Not that selfishness was absent (note Michal for example) but rather most of our women saw the bigger picture. This is why you read in verse seventeen that, “God hearkened unto Leah, and she conceived.” God would not have listened to Leah and done what she had asked if Leah was on some foolishness or wickedness. But rather he is showing that IF you as a woman are moving sincerely and righteously I am WILLING to grant your request. And her desire was to have more sons for her husband. Even if you research mandrakes and their purpose, you will find that they are used as an aphrodisiac. And Rachel and Leah had the purpose in mind to conceive seed. Remember, we read the abridged version in the scriptures. They were praying to God asking him for help to conceive and bear sons to please their husband and build his legacy. They were not on many of the trivial and vain things many women today are focused on. We seem to forget marriage in nature is full of problems. Even many that money alone cannot solve, which is why their is a high rate of divorce among celebrities as well, although, economically they are in a much better situation.
1 Corinthians 7:28 KJVS
[28] But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
IF you choose to marry (as marriage is a choice) YOU WILL HAVE PROBLEMS. It comes with the territory. So why then would you expect another wife or polygynous situation to just cause all those problems to disappear? Polygyny within itself does not fix all of your problems. The effectiveness of things such as your communication with your spouse, the level of righteousness and good works you have will ultimately dictate what the relationship will be. If polygyny was something wicked or had more cons than pros, God would never have permitted it. You would read something like, “Thou shalt surely not take another wife, for all that do so are an abomination.” Or rather you would read where he clearly states it as being unlawful. But you don’t, instead you have to look for scenarios and scriptures where maybe I can squeeze that understanding out of it rather than looking at it contextually or comparing it to the pattern or norm the scriptures speak of. This is no different than what people do with other doctrines.
1 Timothy 3:2 KJVS
[2] A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
Here you have a scenario that many use. A Bishop or overseer has to have one wife. Now on a basic level, a man just has to say, “Well, I am not a Bishop” or simply avoid the office of one and I am in compliance. That is, if we take this verse literally. However, this verse is not literal. Notice the next verse.
1 Timothy 3:3 KJVS
[3] Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
This does not imply a Bishop cannot drink alcohol, nor does it imply he cannot fight to defend himself or others. But rather gives the perspective that he must be more mindful of when and how often he drinks as not to appear unto men as an alcoholic. And does not put himself in a place to drink too much and be drunk. Similarly he cannot be one who is physically abusive or known to start fights. We apply a similar understanding to “one wife” and gather precepts to explain it.
Philippians 2:2 KJVS
[2] Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
When “one” is mentioned in 1 Timothy, it is not literal in regards to one entity but figurative. And is used to mean being likeminded, being of one mind and being on one accord. This is the true understanding of 1 Timothy 3:3 and other areas where it makes mention of upper leadership (i.e. Bishops, Apostles, Deacons). It is not that they cannot have more than one wife but rather if they have one wife or many, it is even more imperative that they and their wives be on one accord and likeminded. Else, the scriptures can be blasphemed due to their example. It’s that simple. You want to avoid situations where guest or congregants say, “Oh that’s the deacons wife acting like that?” or “She should know better she the Bishops wife.” Etc. The list goes on. As these things can cause people to not only leave your camp but rather leave the faith entirely and justify other faiths. “See you didn’t see this in the Christian Church.” Or “My pastor would never.” An experience they now have based all from your example.
Again, some people say, “Leaders can’t have multiple wives.” And here is another scripture used.
Deuteronomy 17:14-17 KJVS
[14] When thou art come unto the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, and shalt possess it, and shalt dwell therein, and shalt say, I will set a king over me, like as all the nations that are about me; [15] Thou shalt in any wise set him king over thee, whom the Lord thy God shall choose: one from among thy brethren shalt thou set king over thee: thou mayest not set a stranger over thee, which is not thy brother. [16] But he shall not multiply horses to himself, nor cause the people to return to Egypt, to the end that he should multiply horses: forasmuch as the Lord hath said unto you, Ye shall henceforth return no more that way. [17] Neither shall he multiply wives to himself, that his heart turn not away: neither shall he greatly multiply to himself silver and gold.
People focus on verse 17 and highlight “neither shall he multiply wives to himself.” And then use an example such as king Solomon and say, “See he multiplied wives to himself and look what happened.” However, if you read Deuteronomy 17:14-17 in context you will find that what is being conveyed is not that a king cannot have multiple horses, multiple wives, or a lot of gold or silver. Else, it would make every single king that ruled wicked. And that is not the case. Because as a king, you generally have the most of everything! But this is rather giving place to, don’t use your position or title to vainly take what you want and just because I’m king give me this and I will take that because I can; simply because I am the king. We read more about this with the history of King Ahab and his wife Jezebel. That just because he was the king and wanted another man’s land his wife used his authority as king to conjure up a scheme to claim it.
Some say King David sinned having multiple wives.
2 Samuel 12:7-9 KJVS
[7] And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the Lord God of Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul; [8] And I gave thee thy master's house, and thy master's wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things. [9] Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon.
David’s sin wasn’t having multiple wives. Notice verse seven, that these words are coming from the Most High. And notice verse eight where he makes it clear that HE was the one that gave David King Saul’s house and King Saul’s wives after King Saul’s death. It was not wicked for David to have the house or the wives as God not only permitted it, he guided it so that it would happen! He did not steal the house as Saul was dead. He did not commit adultery as the women’s previous husband was dead. Secondly, God even told him, that IF that had not been enough, he would have given him what he would have asked for as long as it was righteous and he was willing to wait patiently. Furthermore, it was in verse nine that God admits what the sin was. That he despised Gods word in taking Uriah the Hittites wife and then being on some “nigga ish” he had him put to death after the fact so he could claim his wife as his own smooth and clear and no one would ask any questions. Of course, after trying to get Uriah to lay with his wife first, so that he claims the child as his own. And when that didn’t work, then he had to find a way to murder him. And this played out for some time. But this was the wickedness that God was calling David out on. Else, he would have called Saul out for it first and would have came to David before he was king because even before he was king he had multiple wives. But God was specific in what he punished David for and what he called sin. And multiple wives wasn’t it.
People also use King Solomon.
1 Kings 11:1-4 KJVS
[1] But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites; [2] Of the nations concerning which the Lord said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. [3] And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart. [4] For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.
There are a couple of things to note here. The problem was not multiple wives, but rather taking a wife, let alone multiple wives, of ANOTHER NATION. As what is referred to here is quoted from Deuteronomy below:
Deuteronomy 7:2-6 KJVS
[2] And when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them: [3] Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. [4] For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly. [5] But thus shall ye deal with them; ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire. [6] For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God: the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the earth.
This is what many of our forefathers (and even foremothers forgot) don’t marry the other nations. As they will influence you to serve their Gods and then you will be in iniquity. And that is exactly what happened.
Nehemiah 13:23-27 KJVS
[23] In those days also saw I Jews that had married wives of Ashdod, of Ammon, and of Moab: [24] And their children spake half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews' language, but according to the language of each people. [25] And I contended with them, and cursed them, and smote certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, Ye shall not give your daughters unto their sons, nor take their daughters unto your sons, or for yourselves. [26] Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? yet among many nations was there no king like him, who was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did outlandish women cause to sin. [27] Shall we then hearken unto you to do all this great evil, to transgress against our God in marrying strange wives?
Why didn’t Nehemiah say, “to transgress against God in marrying multiple wives?” Because that wasn’t the sin. The son of Solomon and their son was the same. Why are you marrying these women from other nations? These women caused King Solomon to fall. Even being loved of God and filled with wisdom. So that should let you know as a man, if he fell being loved and filled with wisdom, there is a strong chance I will have the same fate. Let me avoid it. Again, the evil or sin, was being involved with the other nations. And this was King Solomon’s sin.
Matthew 25:1-2,10 KJVS
[1] Then shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten virgins, which took their lamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom. [2] And five of them were wise, and five were foolish. [10] And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was shut.
If polygyny was unlawful Christ would not use something wicked to describe something good and righteous, especially the Kingdom of Heaven. Here we see that it is lawful, not only for a man to marry multiple women, but even if he chose to marry more than one woman at one time. Now that may not always be WISE or EXPEDIENT and many may FEEL some type of way about it but it is LAWFUL.
What is unlawful is this:
Deuteronomy 21:15-17 KJVS
[15] If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated: [16] Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn: [17] But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.
We are given a scenario. IF a man has two wives… Why two wives? Because two is the minimum number needed for this scripture to apply. And if you run into a situation where a man greatly favors one wife (the loved) and may not favor the other wife or another wife as much (the hated) and they both have sons but the one that is loved less (the hated) had the true firstborn son. You can’t just say as a man, “well I appreciate or favor this wife or this son more so I will give it to him.” That is unlawful and wicked. You must give the true inheritance to the first born.
Exodus 21:10 KJVS
[10] If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish.
Isaiah 4:1 KJVS
[1] And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel: only let us be called by thy name, to take away our reproach.
If multiple wives were unlawful you would not have this prophecy concerning how the general mindset of wicked women will shift to a righteous mindset. Read all of chapter three to see the wicked mindset our women have developed that many of our women are still in today, though some be in the truth. But as they repent more and they see more judgement going forth from God on the wicked, the wicked mentality of our women will change to that which is complete concerning polygyny. More women will desire to be with a man not based on what he can provide for them monetarily, but rather what that man can provide first and foremost spiritually and mentally and they will be more willing to cover or help cover their financial needs if they can be joined to a righteous man. Because now they see the value and appreciate that value.
Our people understood this law was not only in regards to servants. But applied to the children of Israel as well. Men cannot just have sexual intercourse with a woman and believe that alone makes a marriage union. Nor can women believe that simply because they laid with a man that makes them married. There are responsibilities and duties that bind a marriage. Else it’s just fornication. Sex is the consummation or “seal” after the vows are made and we are in agreement that we both understand what is required of us and how we will move going forward.
But the covenant these women are making and will make is that even if you cannot provide everything from food to clothing, I’m not looking for all that and that is okay. I am looking to be joined to the house of brother so and so. I see he is a sincerely righteous man and his glory is my glory. If he look good, I look good. And it brings honor to those sisters name. And this also shows that this will begin to happen before we inherit the kingdom of heaven. How? Because in the kingdom of heaven this wouldn’t be an issue. Our streets are made of Gold! We have all the wealth of the nations, you wouldn’t have to worry about financial stress. But this scripture gives way that this will start to unfold when finances are still an issue, just look at how the economy is changing. Times are getting harder. And you have many Israelite women who took the career route instead of the family route. And have the success of the world but are spiritually dead. So they desire that spiritual void to be filled. I’m not looking for “can he pay my bills” I’m looking for “can he help me build” building spiritually and building a family.
Proverbs 14:1 KJVS
[1] Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
