Rape & Molestation
Ugh, the utter thought of rape can be cringeworthy and uncomfortable to bear. As a parent myself I detest the thought of that happening to my wife or my children (sons and daughters included). However, we must address it to help others be edified and Most High permit practice some preventable methods. So let’s set the table shall we?
First off, rape and molestation can happen to anyone. Male or female, young and old. Unfortunately, many may isolate the situation only to women or even young girls. Although statistically higher, boys and even grown men can also be susceptible. Remember the story of Sodom and Gomorrah with Lot and the two angels?
Genesis 19:4-7 KJVS
[4] But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter: [5] And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them. [6] And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him, [7] And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.
Umm, yeah, them wanting to “know them” wasn’t to have a pleasant conversation or play sports, well not the traditional kind anyway. They were going to get to know them sexually. Often euphemisms such as “knew her” “know him” etc. are used to describe sex in the Bible. Obviously, the Bible lets you know this act in Sodom (which is where we get the term Sodomy) is not only a sin but a high sin that is stated as “wickedly”.
Additionally, you will also find that when given the option of raping a woman or raping a man, raping a man is seen as significantly more wicked than raping a woman even if the woman was married. The accounts in Genesis and Judges give way to this. Additionally, it lets you know that these were MEN seeking out other MEN both the old (those 60 years of age and older) and the young (those 59 years of age and younger) were all on one accord to violate these GROWN MEN not boys, not “youth”. As youth is used often to refer to children throughout the scriptures.
Furthermore, this shows that this was not their first rodeo, this became normalized behavior in this city. Think of how many men were forced to be violated like this? In front of their spouse, maybe even their children. Don’t be fooled, in this scenario you would had to have had the strength of Samson to escape or the righteousness of Elijah and Elisha.
I recall when I was in Afghanistan we had to be careful because the Polish soldiers were “lying in wait” hitting American soldiers in the head with sandbags and rapping them. So we had to use the “buddy system” walk by two’s with a “battle buddy”. Yeah, it can get real. Oh, and if you didn’t know in these last days it will get to these times again. So men, be prepared to fight and defend. And in all realty it is happening now, just not to the level we see here… Yet. Which is both rape and homosexuality.
Leviticus 20:13 KJVS
[13] If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
If we know the act of homosexuality is a sin. Then based on this law, or as some may say, common sense, one would understand it would not be a godly thing for a man to rap another man via force or while inebreated due to drugs or alcohol. If the consenting relationship is a sin it isn’t any better if you have a nonconsenting individual. But you won’t find a direct scripture that says, “thou shalt not force a man to know him, for all that doth so are an abomination, his blood shall be upon him.” No, but through the law a righteous individual will see the law states this “in-between the lines” which is why Lot knew it was wicked, he wasn’t confused.
Lot made no excuses, but rebuked them, showing the laws were before Moses. Again, the scriptures will not say, “surely thou shalt not take a youth to lie down therewith for all that do so are abominable, their blood shall be upon them.” However, we understand there is a marriageable age. And homosexuality is wrong, rape is wrong, so if a child is raped then the judgement of the adult is death. Well what if my child rapes another child did they commit a sin worthy of death? Before we get sentimental due to age let me remind you about a judgement that seems harsh for children based on what happened.
2 Kings 2:23-24 KJVS
[23] And he went up from thence unto Beth-el: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. [24] And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.
Last I checked was calling someone bald head worthy of death? Again, you will not find it in the letter of the law or a direct scripture. Yet, there are always in-between the line scriptures, especially for those of the mindset, “well the Bible doesn’t say.” Furthermore, the Bible lets you know these were not adults, no, not even older children. They were little children, or little kids, let that sink in. You may realistically have to read the scripture above and this paragraph twice. So yes, true, he may have been bald but being disrespectful can be worthy of death. Most High was putting people to death in the wilderness for complaining aka “murmering”. However, it is the job of the judges to find out what exactly happened to execute the most righteous judgement based on in-between the line offenses.
2 Samuel 13:12-14 KJVS
[12] And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. [13] And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. [14] Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.
Unfortunately, you must even watch your children and how they deal with each other. Although more rare it does happen. We also see a dual judgement of death. We see incest, a brother (Amnon) having sexual intercourse with his sister (Tamar) or as some may say “half sister” if you read the story in context. And we see rape being described as “force”. This being a high sin. However, this knowledge is rooted in the scripture provided below.
Deuteronomy 22:22-29 KJVS
[22] If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. [23] If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; [24] Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you. [25] But if a man find a betrothed damsel in the field, and the man force her, and lie with her: then the man only that lay with her shall die: [26] But unto the damsel thou shalt do nothing; there is in the damsel no sin worthy of death: for as when a man riseth against his neighbour, and slayeth him, even so is this matter: [27] For he found her in the field, and the betrothed damsel cried, and there was none to save her. [28] If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; [29] Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
The Bible breaks down general scenarios to give an example of what is considered adultery, and what is considered rape. In verse 22 we see that if the man and woman consent and the woman is married to another man, that is adultery. It’s listed this way because a man can have another wife if he chooses, as long as she is not another mans wife. As this is the heart of the issue if you read the story of David in context. Verse 23 lets you know that even if they are betrothed (meaning engaged) it is still at that point a marriage union or agreement, it just hasn’t been consummated yet.
Verse 24 begins to open up the doors to verses 25-27 when it states, “the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city;” meaning if she was being taken advantage of, if she was being raped. Being in the city she can yell for help. Someone will hear her and come to help her or serve as witnesses to know she must have been the woman screaming for help being raped she is innocent. But verse 24 lets you know if she did not do that then she was not truly raped. She consented. Verse 25 lets us know if she is forced, used in the same context as we see in 2 Samuel 13:12-14 she is being raped, and it doesn’t leave it there, it adds on to it in verse 26 that she was in a position where there was no help.
In the field, no one is immediately around to save you or even hear you. It is often one of the cons and pros about being out in the country… I am away from people. She tried to fight off this attacker on her own and was forced because she was not physically strong enough. Because a man grows to be physically stronger than a woman. This is why 2 Samuel is so important because it highlights the facts that a woman can be physically overpowered. So in context this woman should be kicking and screaming in this scenario. If she was threatened but did not scream or fight she consented. She gave in, she was not raped.
It may seem unfair for many because some who thought they were raped were not truly raped, you did not kick and scream, you did not fight. You put yourself in a position to be taken advantage of because you trusted this person you liked. You were gullible, naive, and listened to this persons every word. Or got hit with the old, “came to my place and watch a movie” or “we should go to this party together” “I’ll take you home” and you consented unto his advances when the pressure came on usually out of fear of harm or rejection. Having the fear of harm or rejection in and of itself is not the sin. Letting that fear stifle you from fighting physically and verbally in the situation is the sin. It is honorable to come back with a bloody face and your virtue if possible rather than simply shut up lie down and take it because it “may” save my life or save me from further pain.
Sirach 6:7-8 7 If thou wouldest get a friend, prove him first and be not hasty to credit him. 8 For some man is a friend for his own occasion, and will not abide in the day of thy trouble.
Often, this is because we were hasty to trust someone. Need it be a friend, a family member, or foe. And when the time came they showed their true colors. Often the red flags are already present, we just ignore them. Notice even in a justified scenario where one does fight as broken down in verses 25-27 in Deuteronomy chapter 22, it did not say the damsel was innocent, it said there was no sin worthy of death in her hands. She may have committed a lesser sin. Oh, like what?
Proverbs 7:9-10 KJVS
[9] In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night: [10] And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.
She may have been out late at a time she had no business being out. She may have had something on she had no business wearing. She may be subtle which means sneaky, crafty, or negatively cunning. Thinking you being smart lying about where you are going or who you are going with. Wearing something short or provocative. You may not be a harlot but you are wearing the uniform. You provoked someone to rape you. By dressing or behaving in a way to attract such attention. All of these things are things women can do that must be evaluated when one claims innocency when raped. And these are things that are lesser sins. Not worthy of immediate death. And it can happen to young girls, young women or older women. Even “in the truth” so to speak, some trying to escape, looking for a break, maybe even getting seduced by the world or in a rebellious mindset.
Proverbs 6:24-26 KJVS
[24] To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. [25] Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. [26] For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life.
Other scriptures like this let you know a woman can have smooth words to entice. She can even look a certain way through her facial expressions and demeanor that can call attention to herself. To where she put herself in a position to be raped. Again, the scriptures are powerful when it says “whore-ISH”. Ish is pertaining to, in the area of. Same as if I say I will meet you at five-ish. I am not saying I will meet you at five but lets plan around that time.
With that being said, once in that position of being raped did you consent or fight? If you were married or engaged and you fought you are not worthy of death, if you didn’t fight you get death. If you were single and you fought your not worthy of death and do not have to marry this person as this person is worthy of death. If you were single and you didn’t fight and you allowed yourself to be seduced you consummated a marriage that’s why verse 28 is important. As it highlights if someone “lay holds on you” in this context that deals with them captivating you, charming you, enticing you. That is not rape or “accidental fornication” as some may call it. That was a hasty consummation.
Some may argue it as being rape because of how they interpret "lay hold" however lay hold has different meanings in the Strong's Concordance. Furthermore, the Bible has redundancy built into it.
Exodus 22:16-17 KJVS
[16] And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. [17] If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.
Notice in the book of Exodus chapter 22 it mentions the same scenario we see in Deuteronomy chapter 22 verses 28-29. Showing the proper context of "lay hold" in Deuteronomy is meant in the means of captivate, charm, etc. Further substantiating the common scenario of seduction that can happen prior to consummating a marriage.
It is my responsibility to teach my children this wisdom as their parent. No, not once they are twenty one, no not eighteen, but from the tender age of young children. It can seem daunting, and uncomfortable. You think when one was caught in adultery and stoned they told the children avert your eyes? Everyone witnessed the judgement so that fear would set them straight. Yeah, if your fourteen year old saw that they would probably think twice. You would be teaching these laws and talking about these laws daily. Telling the stories as reminders of what happens when you do right and wrong.
Sirach 7:23-25 23 Hast thou children? instruct them, and bow down their neck from their youth. 24Hast thou daughters? have a care of their body, and shew not thyself cheerful toward them. 25Marry thy daughter, and so shalt thou have performed a weighty matter: but give her to a man of understanding.
Many parents wait until after the fact to try to educate their child on something. Now you want to tell your family history or what happened to you, a friend, another family member, or associate. Notice it said in their “youth” this is when they have not yet reached the age of maturity as your children are always your children, even if you are eighty and they are sixty. In this wicked world you must choose to expose your children early in the way YOU prefer before the world chooses for you.
Uncle Tony may be a great mechanic but he has tendencies to glare at little boys in a way that is not appropriate. I should be mindful of this by educating my children to be mindful of Uncle Tony and don’t go with him alone. I trust him around other people, not alone watching my kids. I am not accusing him if I do not know if he has crossed those lines but you don’t overlook it and use the label of family to mean innocent. Again, Amnon and Tamar were brother and sister. Furthermore, if you read 2 Samuel chapter 13 in context you will see that his Uncle coached him on what to do and how to execute his lust instead of correcting him. Which further proves your family can still do you wrong. Minor trust is given, greater trust is earned.
Read the History of Susanna she was faced with two elders that wanted to put her to death if she did not have sexual intercourse with them. They threatened and black mailed her. However, she still had to make a choice. Consent to them or refuse. The correct option was still to refuse and take whatever judgement man would give her. And that serves as another example for our men and women that being threatened is not a justification to consent to sin. We fight until the death, through the blood sweat and tears.
History of Susanna 20-24 [Dan. 13:20] Behold, the garden doors are shut, that no man can see us, and we are in love with thee; therefore consent unto us, and lie with us. [Dan. 13:21] If thou wilt not, we will bear witness against thee, that a young man was with thee: and therefore thou didst send away thy maids from thee. [Dan. 13:22] Then Susanna sighed, and said, I am straitened on every side: for if I do this thing, it is death unto me: and if I do it not I cannot escape your hands. [Dan. 13:23] It is better for me to fall into your hands, and not do it, than to sin in the sight of the Lord. [Dan. 13:24] With that Susanna cried with a loud voice: and the two elders cried out against her.
Side note: History of Susanna is also apart of the book of Daniel, and some bibles or apps may label it accordingly. This is a similar scenario some women may find themselves in. Not always as severe in terms of judgement, but you may face bodily harm or injury if you do not do as commanded. Even a soiled reputation. If this is your fate or judgement you must bear your cross and endure until the end. You must teach yourself and your children that God sees all and is judge of all.
Matthew 10:28 KJVS
[28] And fear not them which kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul: but rather fear him which is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.
Your fear of the Most High’s judgment should trump your fear of man’s judgement. And you being in the situation is either a judgement of a sin you or your parents committed or a test for you or testimony for someone else. Either way you must fight to execute what is righteous.
1 Peter 3:17 KJVS
[17] For it is better, if the will of God be so, that ye suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
The Bible is full of people that suffered for doing the right thing. However God is gracious enough to reward you for your sacrifice. IF you believe. If you die, then you die righteously and earn your ticket into the kingdom upholding Gods word. This is the wisdom you should be teaching your children. I personally have children at various ages and use movies and tv shows aside from lectures and conversations to teach them at all times. If watching something for nonsensical purposes, I try to wait until after the movie unless it is something more pressing. However, I select movies and tv shows to intentionally watch for constructive criticism and education. I understand my daughters are not always under my care even if absent for a short time and have a parent in the world who left the truth and has moved on with someone else. My children can be placed in harms way in more ways then one. Furthermore, I have other children and family and friends that can also harm them in various ways or even vice versa. As my children get older, they too may harm others. I must shield them, not by being a “helicopter parent” but rather through education and righteousness. Yet, they must still choose how they apply the word in their life.
Deuteronomy 6:7 KJVS
[7] And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
1 Corinthians 14:40 KJVS
[40] Let all things be done decently and in order.
